attention.

Is it bad that I am so excited that my blog has already been read by (at least) two bloggers I admire? One put me on his blogroll and another told me that he wants to fuck me! I'm an attention-whore already (kind of) and this is definitely fueling that. Now, regarding the latter blogger, I truly don't know if I could meet up with him. He's on a pedestal in my book and I would truly hate to be a disappointment to him. It's almost as if I don't consider myself worthy enough to be with him. And he would, most likely, want to cum inside me, but I've just started letting one guy do that... I don't know if I'm ready just yet to start letting random guys do it.

I don't think I could ever be as much of a slut as I dream of being. I can definitely fuck guys I meet online, etc., but I have dreams of being really nasty. Like, getting a hotel room and posting an ad on Craigslist, allowing guys to come over freely and use me, protected or unprotected. I dream of going to a bathhouse and getting a room, laying on my stomach and leaving the door wide open. I dream of letting any man cum inside of me. But I don't think I could ever follow through. I'm sorry to be so wanh-wanh right now, but I've been grappling with myself about it lately. I just have a family and a career ahead of me and I would hate to do anything that would be detrimental. So, I'll be a slut, don't you worry... just not one of those completely nasty ones.

You know what else I dream of? Getting paid for all this. I've had sex with so many men from online that I look back and wish that I had charged them. But they probably wouldn't have paid when they can just hop back online and find someone that won't charge them. I want to be able to go over to a guy's apartment/hotel room and be of service to him (like I usually do) and walk out of there with a little extra cash in my pocket. I wouldn't charge outrageous prices or anything. It'd just be a little bit of extra income for a struggling college student.

Skater and I haven't spoken still. We've seen each other around campus and in classes and nodded or said "Hey," but that was the extent of it. So, I don't think I've completely botched that acquaintance, but I think it sustained a little damage.

I, unfortunately, haven't gotten laid in a little while, so there aren't any experiences for me to share with you. But don't you fret... as soon as I have one, you'll be the first to know. ;)